do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
