i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
