Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
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