A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Randomize
