I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
