end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Randomize
