This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
pop tarts are not kleenex
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
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