Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Randomize
