Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
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