Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Randomize
