there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
