i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Randomize
