doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
