mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
