They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize
