my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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