There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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