4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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