Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
i came on her dog
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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