Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
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