My boss' voice literally gives me gas
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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