this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
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