i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
