i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Randomize
