he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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