But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
what day is it and did you see me today?
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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