I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
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