i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
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