I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
