I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Actions speak louder than pants.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
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