Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Randomize
