You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Randomize
