oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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