Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
