My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
The convent might be a nice break from real life
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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