Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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