Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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