I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Randomize
