Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
