No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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