remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Randomize
