Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
this boner is exhausting
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Randomize
