Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
so much tequila, so little girl.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
