Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Randomize
