Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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