Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
