So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Randomize
