You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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