I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
