But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
