I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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